10 ways to make your sex life work
By Tuva Novar
Set out time to get in the right mood
A lot of people already know that scheduling sex is a great way to balance your daily life and other aspects of your life. However, ensuring that you can plan enough time to get in the mood is something that you should also devote time to.
If you think that moving from work straight to the bedroom for sex isn’t so arousing, then you could just plan out an hour to be with your partner and connect. Unwind, relax, talk, and see where things go from there. You could even take a few minutes to watch an erotic TV show (there are lots of them these days) or just relax and get yourself in the right mood.
Get fit
This is really important. Your physical fitness needs to match your sexual appetite, or you risk not being satisfied when the time comes to hit the sheets.
Better still, you could exercise together. Looking at your partner’s toned, scantily-clad body will get your motor running for sure.
Check on what could be holding you back
If you suddenly find yourself unable to work through some sexual positions, then you should look into why. Do you hate having sex with the lights on because you are embarrassed of something? Do you feel guilty when trying out a certain position?
Whatever the reason is, there is a chance that it could affect you from enjoying yourself at that moment. The way you think about sex can significantly affect how you experience it. So, take out any guilt or shame when you’re in the bedroom.
Lubricants are not your enemy
You know yourself better than anyone else, and you know what you like. So, why not share them with your partner? Sharing is the best way to make your partner know how to please you, instead of going through several motions which you might not like.
So, be open and let him or her know what gets you into that sweet spot
Embrace openness
The best sex can only be achieved when both parties open up about the things that they like and the things they don’t. So, instead of giving vague hints or shy nudges that might not get communicated eventually, just be direct and let your partner know what you would like from him or her.
If you will like to have sex more often, speak up. If you think that a certain position would be better, let your partner know. You need to assume that your partner also wants to have a good time, so don’t be shy about giving suggestions that will optimize the experience for you both.
Maintain a healthy sleeping habit
If you find that you stay up way too late and sleep well into the mornings, you could be killing your sex drive.
According to a study, getting enough sleep is a great way to boost your sex drive as a woman. Also, further research showed that a week after sleep deprivation, men had significantly less testosterone than normal. With lowered testosterone comes lowered libido.
Even if the science isn’t all to right, we all know that being exhausted is no way to enjoy a round of sex.
Go easy on the alcohol
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a glass of something strong; it could put you in a good mood and help you loosen up a bit as well. However, when you begin to skip into taking 3, 4 or 5, then it could have a negative effect on you bedroom experience.
For men too much alcohol could significantly reduce your ability to maintain an erection while in bed. It also dulls your senses, so that orgasm that you crave so much gets even more difficult to achieve.
If you know that you will be hitting the sheets anytime soon, you might want to take it easy on the booze and just cozy up to your partner instead.
Masturbation isn’t a bad idea
Despite the social stigma that this sometimes gets, masturbation is actually a great way for you to get a feel of what you like and what you might not be fine within in bed. However, it also helps you feel good, and can put you in a more relaxed, sexually craving state in preparation for sex with you partner.
However, the way you masturbate is also very important. If you rush through the act, you might end up not lasting so long in bed. Instead, use the act of masturbation to help you practice delaying your orgasm.
Do stuff outside the bedroom
No matter how heated things get when you both have sex, your relationship (and by extension, the sex life) will get strained if you don’t get to do things together that don’t even involve sex.
Being emotionally connected with your partner and their daily life is a great way to build a bond, and this will eventually translate to your ability to easily get in the mood when you step into the bedroom.
Prioritize sex
This is also very important. A lot of us make the stake of allowing our daily lives to get in the way of us enjoying our sexual encounters with our partners. So, make sure that you are deliberate about it. Free up time and be in the moment. Enjoy sex, and ensure that your partner does as well.
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